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In the fifties the magazines referred to it as “wife-swapping.” Today it’s named “swinging,” but not considering of its name this sexual behavior seems to be growing in popularity among mainstream, adult married couples in the United States and Canada. The popular media are paying increasing interest to the fact, often putting a encouraging spin on the effects which the lifestyle has upon marriages. The North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) claims there are structured swing clubs in about all states as well as Belgium, England, Germany, and Japan. These clubs are beneficial ventures which supply all levels of social activities for swingers including vacation plans, special holiday sites for swingers, and annual gatherings and seminars. Lifestyles, Inc., a swingers journey bureau, booked 700 couples at a resort in Jamaica in December of 1997.
What precisely is swinging? Dissimilar “open marriages” of the 1970’s which promoted non-possessive love and tolerance of infidelity in their spouses, or “polyamory” - the love of numerous people at once – swinging is non-monogamous sexual activity, treated a lot like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple. Emotional monogamy, or dedication to the love relationship with one’s marital partner, remains the major focus. Swinging is typically done in the company of one’s spouse and requires the involvement of both to the practice. Although swingers often become close friends with other swinging couples, there are regulations restricting emotional involvement with non-spousal partners. While swinging involves having sex with people other than one’s spouse, its advocates claim that it enhances the relationship of the swinging couple both sexually and emotionally. By removing the secrecy and dishonesty inherent in one’s natural wishes for sexual variety, the pair can explore their fantasies mutually without deceit or shame. By removing the necessity for dishonesty from the sexual life, a new height of trust and honesty about all of one’s feelings is apparently achieved without the negative baggage of envy.
Swinging as an alternative lifestyle is of both practical and intellectual interest because the challenge to merge sexual non-monogamy with emotional monogamy is fundamentally “abnormal” from the western model of romantic love which assumes that sexual and emotional monogamy are reciprocally reinforcing and inseparable. It has yet to be demonstrated empirically whether this alternative lifestyle in fact strengthens or weakens marital relationships, but in an era where 37% of husbands and 29% of wives, sometimes so-called milfs confess to having had at least one extra-marital affair, where divorce rates for first marriages are approaching 62%, and where family insecurity and parental neglect of children has become a main national worry, any effort to redefine “love” and strengthen the marital relationship is worthy of our attention. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, prolong family ties, and enrich the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously.
It is concluded that swingers surveyed are the white, middle-class, middle-aged, church-going section of the residents reported in past studies, but when it comes to attitudes about sex and marriage they are less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the general public. Swinging appears to make the vast majority of swingers’ marriages happier, and swingers rate the contentment of their marriages and life satisfaction commonly as higher than the non-swinging population.